How to deal with pain in love

Sufi head-dress and pearl decorations (via Wikimedia Commons)

I asked the Sufi master to put his spell to turn my heart into a stone, to do away with the pain of my broken heart in love. He replied, the softness of the heart is the requirement of the Sufi way for getting awareness about God. Then I asked if there is any cure for this pain. He replied, Tolerance! And then said, Tolerance (Bardasht) and Patience (sabr)!!

What is the practical understanding of Kalima in Sufi way?

  

 Rohtas Fort (via Wikimedia Commons)

The method of the Sufi teaching is different from the conventional academia, as it involves not just the mathematical meaning of an idea, but the experiential conceptualization of an idea and its grooming into belief. We are discussing how a Sufi disciple deciphered the meaning of Kalima by the metaphor of world.

A Sufi master assigned the recitation of Kalima to his disciple who was worldly man. The disciple could not continue the incantation, and forgot the lesson. But, the lesson has never stopped, and beads kept on falling along the thread of his life, as the master’s glance of benediction (Urdu: Nazr-e-Karam) continuously remained upon the disciple’s heart. The day to day experiences in the life of disciple molded his heart into a bowl to be filled with the realization of the meaning of Kalima. In his ordinary course of business, he faced some crises, forcing him to take a right decision on each such occasion of conflict and agony. In the initial phase, he got disappointed to see the world full of injustices, which took him to realize “La Ilaha” (i.e., first part of Kalima: “there is no god”) that the unjust practices and people of this world are not God, therefore, God is not responsible for these injustices, but the man himself is all cause of this all injustice. The order of this unjust world is inferior and defective. In the second phase, he realized the meaning of “Illallah” (i.e., second part of Kalima: “But the God”) that the true and rightful order is that of Allah, who is above the heavens and pure from all defections of this unjust world. The two parts “there is no god” and “but Allah” jointly mean to differentiate the just from the unjust, and the right from the wrong. This is the spirit of Tawheed (the Shehada or testimony that Allah is the exclusive Lord), who is pure and right. The third phase, enlightened the meaning of “Muhammadur Rasoolallah” (i.e., third part of Kalima: “Muhammad PBUH is Allah’s prophet”) that the Order of Allah is the prime solution of all injustices of this world, and it will have to be brought through the Islamic way of life and governance (“Shariah”).

 

Why I am sometimes happiest and other times gloomiest in love?

Shah Abdul Latif Bhittai's house in Bhit Shah (via Wikimedia Commons) 

Why I am sometimes happiest and other times gloomiest in love? The mind is entangled in the puzzles of emotions.

 

In psychology, and other sciences studying the human behavior, the emotion of being in love is described in different angles. But, in Sufism, the love is seen in different terms. 

 

Since Sufism is meant for channelizing our attentions towards God, therefore, the love for our humanly beloved is also seen an essential ladder to the God’s love. In order to distill this idea further, we will have to zoom in the concept of love and its connected ideas.

 

Sufism is the esoteric understanding of religion. It is more concerned with love, connection and subservience of the Divine, than the outward formal religious practices. Therefore, it elucidates the beautifully delicate but difficult aspects of religion which are often ignored by hardliners, like the good conduct as per the way of Prophet Muhammad PBUH (Urdu/Persian: Uswa-e-Hasna), beauty of behavior (Urdu/Persian: Husn-e-Ikhlaq), perfect belief (Urdu/Persian: Yaqeen-e-Kamil), the way or conduct (Urdu/Persian: Rah-e-Sulook) of grand master or Shuyukh. The poetry of Sufi Shuyukh, like Bulleh Shah (link), Abu Said Ibn e Abil Khair, Ibn Al-Fariz (link), Waris Shah is abundant with such ideas, especially that of love.

 

In Islamic ideology, Allah cannot be depicted in any idol or picture form. Despite being Omnipresent & Omniscience (Urdu/Persian: Hazir-o-Nazir) and omnipotent (Urdu/Persian: Qadir-e-Mutlak), he cannot be seen directly with our material eyes, therefore, the inner essence (Arabic: Batin) of religion is faith (Arabic: Iman) on the Divine truth, with verbal profession (Arabic: Iqrar bil-lisan), and heart-felt conviction (Arabic: tasdeeq bil-qalb). This recognition of Divine differentiates the faith from Kufr and Shirk. However, there come a question: how to love the One we have never seen or met?

 

As an oriental proverb goes, “Woman is the teacher of love”. People fall in love with people in this world and learn the emotions and etiquette of love. The experience of love and heart-break softens the human heart enabling to feel delicate aspects of conduct and life. This shift from love for one to love for all and then love for God is an important phase. The poetry recognizes it, by acknowledging the idea that the love for worldly beloved is in fact a form of love for God. In the poetry of Shah Abdul Latif Bhitai (link) and Waris Shah (link), the love tragedies in fact decode the states of our souls desperate to meet the Divine Lord. (Qawwali link, poetry link)

Sufi Vlog: Dialogue on connection of worldly pain and Divine attachment

Sufi Vlog: on the love and remembrance of Divine

Love of Allah.

Some people feel a divine attachment with Allah. It does not matter what religion, race or region they belong; they have deep feeling which keep them attached to the divine highness. I think, the presence of such affection is in fact an invitation from the Divine Entity to start a journey of peace, a tryst with the Divine Beloved. Nevertheless, the path passes through perilous experiences, but the pain becomes sweet like honey, when one realizes it is in fact a sign of being considered and observed by the Divine Beloved. As Sufi says, listen to these pain pangs, which are in fact the Divine messages. Although the door of Prophethood has been closed by the seal of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), and no official communication exists anymore between the God and the human. I think, the philosophy behind this concept, is that the message has been completed and the world is an exam place, to test the human on the touchstone of the message already reached in form of Divine book Quran. However, there is a secret exchange of signs indirectly between the Beloved and His lovers, just like a sweetheart seduces the Majnu. As people say, the lover is Majnu – or insane lover, who have gone stupid in the flow of their weeping emotions, and late-night cravings. As Sufi says, do not lose heart, because this pain is itself a cup full of wine, and this craving is itself a blessed destination. There is no need to go anywhere, or travel to any mountain to seek signs, because the Beloved is Himself here, in front of you, in and out of you, across you, upon you, below you, behind you, before you, as He is everywhere, wherever you face, you will find Him. He is with you. Have you ever talked to him? Ever exchanged a word? Alas, He is waiting for you, and you are hesitant to proceed towards Him, under a false impression that He is far beyond of you. He is not far. No need to search Him because He is searching for you. No need to walk to Him because He is coming you. He is the best Beloved, who is more cautious and waiting the lover. Alas, who missed His meeting. O Lord, I am in pain... In the pain of worldly distractions, fears, worries, hardships… Do not You see my tears. O Lord, I am not complaining the fears or worries. I am complaining about the wall, these worries have built before my attention towards you. and made me forgetful of my desire, and attention towards Your heavenly effulgence. Please give me peace. Please be with me. please make me feel Your company!

Tawakkul and Insecurity

image taken from twitter

Tawakkul or the Reliance [on God] is characteristic of Sufi and a desired mental state of the believer in Islam.

The modern revolution in lifestyle of mankind although has brought much ease in daily life activities, however it has been stripped of many opportunities of experiencing the life in its true form, hence besetting the continuity of human experience.

The recent surge of mechanicalization in our lives has deprived us from meditation and introspection, thus making us away from ourselves. Consequently, losing a chance to know our hidden mental capabilities, capacities, immunities, strengths, many of feelings and qualities like perseverance.

As the perseverance not found in personality, the sense of insecurity took its place. And this sense of insecurity started as moral blemishes and has grown into a motive leading to heinous crime.

People refusing to marry their loved one, divorcee or widower or unwed ladies or unwed couples deciding to abort sufficiently formed fetus in womb, acts of charity and sharing are going to become rare phenomena, and many other like miseries of humanity - a gift of this sense of insecurity.

You need drunkard’s love lost himself in last ever tavern of the beloved and got his heart shattered like a last ever cup of unknown sacred wine, and you need music of purification, dance of forgetful serenity, and most importantly the trust in God and the unshakeable faith, i.e. not that of the stereotype ostentatious performances made without any sincere heart, but you need the faith and trust which takes its roots deep into your heart and magnifies your conscious to the higher plains of your being and knowing.

At this juncture and without referring to any religion specifically, I would like to quote some motivational Quotes from the world heritage.

“Sitting quietly, doing nothing, Spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.” Zenrin Kushû

 (Note: Not a religious article. Readers' own judgment is desired.)